'Take eight people. All of them born in England. All of them white. All of them convinced they are 100% English. Convince them to provide a sample of their DNA. Then submit it to a series of state of the art DNA tests; and some of them will be in for a shock when they discover just how English they really are.'
Taken from the just aired C4 documentary 100% English.
What an interesting show, if somewhat predictable (English people have DNA from all over the world shocka!), but it was rather amusing to see such English nationalists have their certainties whipped from under them.
Now, i'm no self-loathing Englishman, I love so much of this country, its culture, its nature, its history, its character and its people that i'm actually quite proud to be an Englishman. However, having travelled a fair bit i'm comfortable with other cultures and people, and knowing a fair bit of history I also know a fair bit about England and what made it England over a millenia. That background helps me to take a more relaxed view of Englishness. It's certainly there and has been for a long, long time , yet it's also pretty fluid. It's not pure bred, as most of the participants of 100% English believed, but a far more appealing mongrel.
Funniest participant though was the middle-aged female lawyer who runs some charity promoting Englishness (Pure bred of course), lays flowers at the tribute to Harald in Hastings (Harald being the last Saxon king of England, killed by the invading Normans at the battle of Hastings in 1066 for those who are feeling a bit clueless) and took a stern view of what the Normon Conquest meant for England - Ground Zero, ethnic cleansing on a grand scale and the subjegation of Englishmen into slaves. There's a modicum of truth in the last bit, although it's a bit hysterical and a bit rich considering the Anglo-Saxons slaughtered the orignal Britons.
Anyway, what was so funny in her case was her DNA make-up showed her to have large traces of Romany Gypsey. She fudged some response to that revelation and then the presenter told us that, four days later, she fires off some missive claiming the producers stitched her up and the tests were flawed. Hahaha you wish baby!
In fact, as the Goodness Gracious Me team showed a few years ago with the Kupars/Coopers sketches, it seems those who buy into the idea of Englishness the most vehemently, those who take it the most seriously and proclaim themselves loudly to be English also happen to be those with plenty of non-English blood. It's weird.
I tell you what though, I definitely want one of those DNA tests. It would be fascinating to see the rich genetic make-up (Or Tebbit-like dull DNA) of my family history. Where can I get one done and can I get a discount?
Oh look, found out where I can get a DNA ethnic test already. Can someone lend me £200 please?
Monday, November 13
Next generation gming
I've been toying with the idea of technological purchases lately (Whenever money allows - a digital, HD Ready LCD TV is the first port of call for thedacs disposable income once Chrimbo passes) and set my mind to thinking of a new console since the next generation of them have already or are due to come out soon.
Waltzing our way through Need for Speed: Carbon since last week and battling through the massive Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas (Although nowhere near as massive as Final Fantasy VII nor as mesmerising) thedacs are enjoying their gaming at the moment and starting to cast their eyes over the future.
Nintendo's Wii (Unfortunate name but hey ho) has been the one console that has caught my eye purely for the controller. A wireless contraption with motion-sensors that allows the player to experience a new physical way of gaming, the Wii controller holds out a tantalising prospect of swinging madly while playing tennis for example. On the down side however, it's still a Nintendo and i've never got on with them. Too cutesy, colourful and kiddy quite frankly. The price is nice in comparison to others but....it's a no.
Microsofts X-Box 360 has the advantage of already being out, with a good game selection and pretty impressive hardware. Thing is, I breifly had a normal X-Box a few years ago and I didn't particuarly like it. Looked shite for one thing and let's face it, Microsoft ain't cool and cool is important with consoles.
There is of course a grandaddy of cool when it comes to consoles. The Playstation. The PS is a tried and tested console, hugely popular and dripping with cool. Sleek and sexy, the games play fantastically with classic controllers and the slimline PS2 fits in nicely with any other technology you've got. The added features of the latest Playstation are fairly compelling (Although Blu-Ray doesn't do much for me) and could mean that the PS3 takes pride of place under the new TV. Reading one Japanese players first thoughts on the PS3 in this BBC article has probably been the clincher.
thedacs will be purchasing a PS3.
In fact thedacs will probably buy two if possible (Money allowing of course) and flog one off as soon as we can. Pre-order the two PS3's as soon as shops and online sites allow it (2008 by the time Sony release it in Europe), sell the surplas console on ebay, pocket the cash and see if the sale pays off the kept PS3. How naughty...
Thursday, November 9
A crappy few hours
Literally!
The day was going fine, if unutterably slowly, up until half an hour before I was going to do the off from work.
First I get a call from a woman looking for support (D works for Victim Support now) but she's not only looking for it, she's demanding it and much more else. I'm being shouted at, dealing with a woman at the end of her wits fresh out of hospital with a broken jaw, shit scared of the offender reappearing and with no follow up contact from the Police.
I manage to calm her down, trot off to CID and get some info and contact numbers for her, but she's still near hysterical and not happy with the offer of support I can give. She wants someone to visit now, but we just don't have the resources what with our support coming from volunteers who aren't able to heed our calls at the drop of a hat. Nor am I happy with the idea of sending out a volunteer to her house when she's too scared to even be there herself. Whatever, although I sent an email to the volunteer who had picked up her referral on Tuesday outlining all the above, it will have to wait until tomorrow.
I'm still on time to get my bus so home is calling. It's dark already, cold and no one will be home until 9pm but I just want to get home and cast off the day. There are tons of people at the bus stop so I do the usual and hang back waiting for someone else to hail the bus when it arrives as normally happens. But the bus routes have changed this week and no one hails the bus as it goes by and, with my shitty eyesight, I don't see it approach and depart before it's too late. Fucking great! Another haf hour wait for the next one. But oh no, that bus doesn't arrive for another 45 minutes. During that time my stomach is rumbling, my mood is turning shitty through harrasment and hunger so I eat half the blackened banana left over in my lunch box and smoke my last tab.
When I finally get home to a cold, empty house I can only muster the will to make cheese and beans on toast (Which is actually pretty lush). After shedding myself of my work clothes, i'm ready to take the recycling out and relax with a fag. Dusky, one of the dacs gorgeous cats, has other ideas though and decides to unleash a torrent of diorreah all over the floor. Luckily it's done on a wipeclean surface so isn't a massive hardship to clean up but just as i've finished she releases a sloppy mountain of crap all over the carpet!
What a shit few hours!
It's all cleaned up now, the house is clean, washing up done, Dusky has come and sat on my lap (Hope her arse is clean) to show me she still loves me even though I kicked her off and was horrible. She was utterly riddled with worms and skinny as hell when we got her from the RSPCA but we cured her of that....looks like we'll have to do it again.
I just want C to come home...
The day was going fine, if unutterably slowly, up until half an hour before I was going to do the off from work.
First I get a call from a woman looking for support (D works for Victim Support now) but she's not only looking for it, she's demanding it and much more else. I'm being shouted at, dealing with a woman at the end of her wits fresh out of hospital with a broken jaw, shit scared of the offender reappearing and with no follow up contact from the Police.
I manage to calm her down, trot off to CID and get some info and contact numbers for her, but she's still near hysterical and not happy with the offer of support I can give. She wants someone to visit now, but we just don't have the resources what with our support coming from volunteers who aren't able to heed our calls at the drop of a hat. Nor am I happy with the idea of sending out a volunteer to her house when she's too scared to even be there herself. Whatever, although I sent an email to the volunteer who had picked up her referral on Tuesday outlining all the above, it will have to wait until tomorrow.
I'm still on time to get my bus so home is calling. It's dark already, cold and no one will be home until 9pm but I just want to get home and cast off the day. There are tons of people at the bus stop so I do the usual and hang back waiting for someone else to hail the bus when it arrives as normally happens. But the bus routes have changed this week and no one hails the bus as it goes by and, with my shitty eyesight, I don't see it approach and depart before it's too late. Fucking great! Another haf hour wait for the next one. But oh no, that bus doesn't arrive for another 45 minutes. During that time my stomach is rumbling, my mood is turning shitty through harrasment and hunger so I eat half the blackened banana left over in my lunch box and smoke my last tab.
When I finally get home to a cold, empty house I can only muster the will to make cheese and beans on toast (Which is actually pretty lush). After shedding myself of my work clothes, i'm ready to take the recycling out and relax with a fag. Dusky, one of the dacs gorgeous cats, has other ideas though and decides to unleash a torrent of diorreah all over the floor. Luckily it's done on a wipeclean surface so isn't a massive hardship to clean up but just as i've finished she releases a sloppy mountain of crap all over the carpet!
What a shit few hours!
It's all cleaned up now, the house is clean, washing up done, Dusky has come and sat on my lap (Hope her arse is clean) to show me she still loves me even though I kicked her off and was horrible. She was utterly riddled with worms and skinny as hell when we got her from the RSPCA but we cured her of that....looks like we'll have to do it again.
I just want C to come home...
Housing
With the Bank of England looking set to raise interest rates today (Up 0.25% to 5%) it seems many borrowers are likely to face an unpleasant rise in their mortgage repayments. With insolvencies up, it's clear that many borrowers have extended themselves to the limit financially and even small rises in the interest rate are going to have a negative effect.
Ally that trend of present over-extension to the ridiculous multiplications of salary banks are willing to lend now (The Abbey are willing to lend up to five times your salary in some casess), the changing nature of mortgage repayments (One paper today leads with news of 57-year mortgages) and the strong resurgance of the Buy-To-Let market on the back of massive immigration, and it doesn't look particuarly healthy for those on or below average income to get their foot on the housing ladder.
Whether or not it's a good idea to get your foot on that ladder at all costs in the first place is another matter. People possibly expect too much now - a house in their early twenties, fully furnished with all the mod cons and still enough disposable cash to spunk up the walls on fashion, holidays and leisure pursuits- whereas in the very recent past, expectations were probably more realistic, ie you can't have both.
thedacs are priced out of the housing market entirely at the minute and for the foreseeable future. Since we're in a Housing Association property though it isn't really such a big issue (Rent is low and any repairs to the property are taken care of by the association) until the family grows and the property becomes too small. Then we may have to bite the bullet and purchase through a shared-ownership scheme.
But truth be told, i'm not entirely positive about buying. a) For the reason of over-extension financially, b) I don't believe the properties are worth the vast amounts being asked at present, c) the properties around here are badly built and d) I can't see the present trend continuing, it has to collapse under its own grossly inflated weight someday soon.
Anyway, if interest rates go up, what little money we have saved will at least grow a tiny bit more.
Ally that trend of present over-extension to the ridiculous multiplications of salary banks are willing to lend now (The Abbey are willing to lend up to five times your salary in some casess), the changing nature of mortgage repayments (One paper today leads with news of 57-year mortgages) and the strong resurgance of the Buy-To-Let market on the back of massive immigration, and it doesn't look particuarly healthy for those on or below average income to get their foot on the housing ladder.
Whether or not it's a good idea to get your foot on that ladder at all costs in the first place is another matter. People possibly expect too much now - a house in their early twenties, fully furnished with all the mod cons and still enough disposable cash to spunk up the walls on fashion, holidays and leisure pursuits- whereas in the very recent past, expectations were probably more realistic, ie you can't have both.
thedacs are priced out of the housing market entirely at the minute and for the foreseeable future. Since we're in a Housing Association property though it isn't really such a big issue (Rent is low and any repairs to the property are taken care of by the association) until the family grows and the property becomes too small. Then we may have to bite the bullet and purchase through a shared-ownership scheme.
But truth be told, i'm not entirely positive about buying. a) For the reason of over-extension financially, b) I don't believe the properties are worth the vast amounts being asked at present, c) the properties around here are badly built and d) I can't see the present trend continuing, it has to collapse under its own grossly inflated weight someday soon.
Anyway, if interest rates go up, what little money we have saved will at least grow a tiny bit more.
Wednesday, November 8
The BBC
The BBC is ok, it has a vast range of services that swing in quality from great to shite and it's rare that I don't utilise at least on of those services every single day.
However, the increasing commercialisation of the BBC is becoming increasingly annoying. Barely a half-hour goes by on any BBC platform without a long trailer for another part of the BBC or, even worse, BBC shows forcing their way into news programmes and masquerading as news. The upcoming Strictly Come Dancing appearing under the guise of a human interest story on a news show 2 days before is cynical and crass marketing of the sort Murdoch would get hard over. As are the monotonous references to 'the BBC' every five minutes.
But mostly, the problem with the BBC is the method in which it is funded. To force people into paying a license fee, with the threat of an extortionate fine or imprisonment hanging over those who don't pay, to watch the tv's they have already paid for is nothing short of scandalous. Television is the mass entertainment of society, yet it can be legally withdrawn on the basis of you not subsidising one channel. It's laughable.
The BBC is rightly the most popular station in the country, but that has nothing to do with the license fee anymore. The license fee has served its purpose in allowing the corporation to build up, over almost 80 years, an unrivalled braqnd in terms of quality & trust. The BBC should get it's hands out of the immoral coffers of the license fee and stand on it's own two feet with funding via subscription.
If it fails to survive as it is, then we were never that enamoured of it in the first place. Since I, along with millions of others, would happily pay a subscription for the breadth of reach, services and quality that the BBC offers, I don't see it having to change in the slightest.
Time for the BBC to grow up and walk away from the wet nurse of the license fee teat.
However, the increasing commercialisation of the BBC is becoming increasingly annoying. Barely a half-hour goes by on any BBC platform without a long trailer for another part of the BBC or, even worse, BBC shows forcing their way into news programmes and masquerading as news. The upcoming Strictly Come Dancing appearing under the guise of a human interest story on a news show 2 days before is cynical and crass marketing of the sort Murdoch would get hard over. As are the monotonous references to 'the BBC' every five minutes.
But mostly, the problem with the BBC is the method in which it is funded. To force people into paying a license fee, with the threat of an extortionate fine or imprisonment hanging over those who don't pay, to watch the tv's they have already paid for is nothing short of scandalous. Television is the mass entertainment of society, yet it can be legally withdrawn on the basis of you not subsidising one channel. It's laughable.
The BBC is rightly the most popular station in the country, but that has nothing to do with the license fee anymore. The license fee has served its purpose in allowing the corporation to build up, over almost 80 years, an unrivalled braqnd in terms of quality & trust. The BBC should get it's hands out of the immoral coffers of the license fee and stand on it's own two feet with funding via subscription.
If it fails to survive as it is, then we were never that enamoured of it in the first place. Since I, along with millions of others, would happily pay a subscription for the breadth of reach, services and quality that the BBC offers, I don't see it having to change in the slightest.
Time for the BBC to grow up and walk away from the wet nurse of the license fee teat.
Tuesday, November 7
C's 30th Birthday
C's 30th Birthday on Friday went fantastically well. She had no idea of the surprises waiting for her, loved them when they were revealed and had a brilliant birthday.
The fireworks went well too, except the one rocket which went a bit west in an arhritic arc into a neighbours garden whereupon it exploded rather loudly. Good citizens that we all are we just ducked out of site while pissing ourselves laughing.
The fireworks went well too, except the one rocket which went a bit west in an arhritic arc into a neighbours garden whereupon it exploded rather loudly. Good citizens that we all are we just ducked out of site while pissing ourselves laughing.
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