Yesterdays headache turned into a full-blown depressive incident when I got home last night. This is not good as the past two years have seen a similar pattern emerge after the New Year, with the solitude of the work i've been doing making itself felt so much so that it's contributed to me leaving both the jobs i've had in that time. One of those was due to the fuckers at HBS though, so maybe I shouldn't be too hard on myself.
Trouble is, I find it very hard not to be hard on myself. The only memories I can conjure up from my past all seem to be negative ones. Humiliating myself, not being good enough or taking advantage, acting like a twat and all the unpleasant things i've done. I'm pretty sure that i've not been an arsehole all my existance, but for the life of me I can't recall any memories that are positive.
Which is a real fucker when you tend toward the depressive...
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